Suck my Blog...

I know it kills, I lost two grandparents to smoking. But let me tell you this they both lived until they were eighty and calling their lives happy is a vast understatement. Also they smoked four packs a day for over fourty years. Do the math...

I will be very content with living until I am eighty. As Dennis Leary quite intelligently stated smoking cuts off the last couple of years off of your life and to be honest those are the worst years of your life. You can barely function or do anything without anyones help. Who would want to live like that. I sure as hell don't.

IT KILLS STAMINA!! Not really the only time I feel the effects of smoking is when I am ________.. I would rather not say online haha.. I still run work out train for fights and play soccer evrey day of my life and it has no effect on my body. Now am I writing this so that everyone gets up and buys a pack of Marlboro? NO not at all unless you do already smoke I don't reccomend it. It's just way too expensive nowadays.

And you know what really gets me when I walk around my Universities campus and people come up to me and say hey Johnny thanks for getting me into smoking you asshole??? (THIS REALLY HAPPENS) How the hell did I get you into smoking I don't understand that but whatever. I guess people do not have enough self control to watch me smoke and not pick up a cigarette (freaking morons).

Anyways I digress smoking is bad for your health and it is too costly, but I smoke and I thoroughly enjoy it so leave me alone about my habit.

Enough about that rant

Driving down Hylan Blvd about a week ago listening to my favorite radio show (The Jason Ellis Show) is where I heard about it. Ironically the only people not to give a flying shit about Jacko were the first one's to report on it, about an hour before anyone else including TMZ.

The song ended and the intern entered the room "Hey uh guys Michael Jackson is dead" A burst of laughter came from my speakers. "God damn child molester deserved it, All monsters must die someday.. and on and on and on."

I could not believe my ears at first this bastard died and everyones laughing well that's just not nice.. But then I got home and saw over one thousand facebook, twitter, myspace etc bulletins "RIP MJ you were my hero"

BULLSHIT he was your hero.

And this is where my pity turned into unbridled rage and anger. He went from being the creepiest bastard in the world to a saint in a matter of 24 hours. Everyone of his records became the top sellers on itunes, every piece of MJ memorabilia skyrocketed in value and everyone became a fan.

NONE OF YOU WERE FANS BEFORE HE DIED. NONE OF YOU...

Everyone of you jumped on the Hollywood MTV bullshit pumping insanity loving bandwagon and now you are all his biggest fans. The funny thing is if one of his songs turned on your radio chances are you would change it and start cracking Jacko jokes.

Now I do not want to take away from him as an artist because he was a great one and an better dancer, but do not venerate the man. He was a child molester, a sociopath and a overall creepy dude. While in court on over 11 chargers of just terrible things he paid the prosecutors over twenty million dollars to settle the case, because it was taking such a tole on his life. Bullshit it was, he just did not want to go to jail and see what real molestation was like.

The worst part of the whole situation was that the bankrupt city of Los Angeles (500 million dollars bankrupt to be exact) held a 1.4 million funeral service for him. I swear to God if Jesus was alive today and died he would not have such a lavish funeral.

And my next point... why the hell was Jesse Jackson there?
And since when was Jacko the leader of the black community? The woman has not been black in over 25 years...

I really dunno the whole thing is just very strange to me.

All I can ask is that you look at his life and see is she is the person you should be looking up to and emulating... and even morso worshipping like that of a god...

Well I'm done because i just ashed my cigarette all over the keyboard and can not think of anything else to write about...

LET THE HATE MAIL BEGIN...

KINGS... Kings is a new NBC show which is a modern day/ alternate universe take on the old testament. HRMMM? Sounds intriguing to you? Well it is. It's actually a very very good show. Well produced good acting blah blah blah ya know all that good stuff, and the occasional action sequence.
The pilot was very choppy. The first actual episode was much better and as I write I am watching the third. And it's very interesting... Anyways enjoy the show on Sunday nights at 8pm...

Johnny

All Along the Watchtower written by none other then the minstrel Bob Dylan


There must be some kind of way out of here
Said the joker to the thief
Theres too much confusion
I cant get no relief
Businessman they drink my wine
Plow men dig my earth
None will level on the line
Nobody of it is worth
Hey hey

No reason to get excited
The thief he kindly spoke
There are many here among us
Who feel that life is but a joke but uh
But you and I weve been through that
And this is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely now
The hours getting late
Hey

Hey

All along the watchtower
Princes kept the view
While all the women came and went
Bare-foot servants to, but huh
Outside in the cold distance
A wild cat did growl
Two riders were approaching
And the wind began to howl
Hey
Oh
All along the watchtower
Hear you sing around the watch
Gotta beware gotta beware I will
Yeah
Ooh baby
All along the watchtower

ITS GOING TO BE AMAZING..... STARRING JOE PETITO AND COMPANY.. THIS IS MOST DEFINITELY GOING TO BE THE GREATEST FILM EVER MADE...EVER



Brooklyn Knights - The Danny Flanery Story from Anthony Petito on Vimeo.

This is just a tentative list...

Anyone with a club house...
Anyone who speaks highly of their ball point pen...
Whoever invented the fleshlight...
People who say surely...
White people... who try to rap and whose name is not Joaquin Phoenix...
Whoever is the artist for Spongebob Squarepants...
The nation of Laos...
The Beastie Boys...
Anyone who drives really slow, because they THINK they have a nice car even though they truly don't...
People who attend the Westminster dog show...
Whoever decided that Battlestar Galactica should ONLY run 4 seasons (fucking morons)...
Whoever won best supporting actor this year at the academy awards instead of Robert Downy Jr...
Whoever decided the Watchmen needed to be ONLY 3 hours long...
People who sell rap cd's in times square...
Idiots who BUY those rap cd's in times square...
The Naked cowboy...
People who blog...
People who verbally assault me in clubs (da da tch YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.. God I'm funny)...
Hrm...
People whose name rhymes with Raurine...
Ginger kids...
Wanna be vampires...
Wanna be black people...
Wanna be ANYTHING...
Fake Metro-sexuals who wear nike sneakers tisk tisk -10 fabbbooooo points...
Anyone who gives or takes away "fabo" points...
The creator of PINKBERRY...
People who call Vaginas cookies...
People who BASE their life off of the horoscope...
Psychics...
People who do not believe in the end of the world...
Anyone who doesn't enjoy the original Battlestar Galactica or Star Trek The Original...
People who play the wii obnoxiously...
People who need to be right...
People who do not use commas...
Rapists...
People who make fun of people who make fun of people who make fun of Jews...
Whoever hates Howard Stern...
The Movie voice guy...
Anyone who still plays pokemon...
That annoyingly loud guy on the ferry...
That bitch in the cafeteria...
The guy who always asks for ID EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE BOUGHT CIGARETTES FROM HIM FOR 5 YEARS...
People who tell you smoking kills.. Like I didn't know already...
All of the Mole people...
Daniel Boone...
The Voice of Stewie Griffon...
Girls from Coney Island who think they are big shit because they are French... But does she speak French?? NO!..
WHITE MEXICANS...
Anyone who hates Edward James Olmos...
Whoever decided to stick Doctor Manhattans penis in my face for three hours...
Indiana Jones...
Luke Skywalker...
The Jedi In general...
The artist from Who Framed Roger Rabbit...
Clint Eastwood...
Sean Penn.. SIKE
All non lethal cats...
Cars with less the 400hp... mohaha
umm
Non-satellite radio...
Mc Donalds...
People who wear Italia track jackets...
People who wear any country track jackets, who isn't at a sporting event...
Argentina...
People from Kuwait (lmao that ones for Zeek... feh nu ata)
Any country that was beaten by Germany in WWII...
Anyone who does not speak German...
Anyone who is not 6 foot tall...
Anyone who does not hace blond or gorgeous black hair...
Anyone without blue eyes...
just kidding...
but not really...
umm
The entire world of warcraft...
Supermodels in Science fiction tv shows...
Porn?
Dr. Pibb soda...
Chuck E Cheese...
The Cryogenically frozen corpse of Walt Disney.. It's time to let go Walt... you racist son of a bitch...
Goofy freaking moron...
Pierre Mondrian...
Anyone who actually enjoys post modern art or architecture...
Every color in the world but black and white...
Moral Flexibility...
Flexibility...
The United Kingdom...( NOONE LIKES YOU )
Animals that make it alive from oil spills...
Every kind of dog other then the GERMAN SHEPHERD...
Penguins... seriously they serve less then no purpose (oh yea I went there)
Midgets...
By midgets I mean midgets WITHOUT magical powers...
Cowboy Troy...
Ripped condoms...
Ribbed condoms as well..
Fake leather jackets...
People with henna tattoos...
Pakistan and India... GIVE AMERICANS THEIR JOBS BACK YOU SATAN WORSHIPPERS...
People who pretend to know karate...
Silicon...SIKE...
Salt water taffy...SIKE...
Implants done using only salt water taffy... DOUBLE SIKE...
People who find the need make fun of people with turrets.... PISSSSSSSS
Club Promoters lol...
People who hate tea...
People who hate macbook laptops...
All of Bollywood...
Thailand...
Vietnam...
All of South East Asia...
People who are not from America but celebrate the 4th of July...
People from England...
Anyone who ever burned an American Flag...
Every Rapper...
R & B artist (HAHAHA artist)...
Hip Hop people...
People who roller skate...
Nickelback...
People who play second life...

More to come

AND THEN YOU'LL GET A CAKE LIKE THIS AND CRY ABOUT IT... SO JUST STOP IT...
NUFF' SAID...
johnny

I just felt like stating the obvious over here....
johnny

Which animal will get the bananas off the coconut tree first?

A. a lion

B. a monkey

C.a giraffe

D. a squirrel

Because people are starting to make Doc Manhattans manhood the centerpiece of Zack Snyder's 130 millon dollar super hero epic.. "THE WATCHMEN". Or as it's being called now.. DOCTOR BLUE PENIS..

The movie was well made and very interesting, with a great plot and fantastic acting. But I could not get over the fact that for 3 hours whenever Doc Manhattan was on the screen every tween in the audience began cracking penis jokes.. I mean come on the movie is rated R. So why are there 14 year old kids in the theater in the first place, but regardless. The movie was still fantastic, and quite interesting.

Alternative history at it's finest. But the penis jokes really kill the movie and it's quite annoying especially in the context of how SERIOUS the film itself is.

Anyways yea I just felt like pointing that out..
johnny

First off I just want to say that I love Eastern European women... (Croatia, Chezch Rep., Slovakia, Albania, Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia, Herzogovina, Poland, Russia, Belarus, Lichtenstein, East German, Lithuania, Latvia, Romania, Bulgaria, Ukranian, Moldova, Macedonia, AND Austria). Here is a tentative list of some of the reasons why I love these women...

THEY HAVE...
1. Perfect facial features...
2. Either Blonde, White, or BLACK AS NIGHT colored hair..
3. They all have Blue eyes...
4. They have respect and honor..
5. I find smokers attractive.. ( Yea... you're guess is as good as mine)
6. Communists/Communism are/is hot..
7. Women who speak more then only English turn me on.. (if you speak German you get extra points)
8. Sexual deviants.. (oh yea haha)
9. They only wear the color black (it's an eastern european thing [ironically my entire wardrobe is black aswell]).
10. They are Culturally intellectual
11. They have (and I quote) great chests.. (no comment)
12. Such strong confidence..
13. Great temperaments (just like golden retrievers) [just kidding don't hurt me].
14. They carry themselves with the utmost poise while being quite sexual about it...
15. Pronouncing W as a V and J as a Y turns me on for some odd reason..
16. In any situation the can hold their own with or with out anyone's help..
17. The most charming women in the world..
18. They know first hand the meaning of hard work and they are never afraid to get their hands dirty ( no pun intended).
19. They all know WAY to much about soccer.
20. Probably smarter then anyone you know. WHILE also being the most beautiful woman you have ever met.

Like I said before these are only some of the reasons why I love them so damn much....

johnny

American Idol is quite possibly the worst show ever made.. The concept is amazing and the whole thing is "cool." (For twelve year old girls, gays, and 98 year old women). Regardless this show is the CULMINATION of everything I currently hate about The United States of America..

CARBON COPY PEOPLE... It's so funny I mean it is like really really funny.. Ya know you see the people going into the auditions dressed in their regular clothes, with their yellowed teeth and dirty sneakers (nothing wrong with any of this).. Then the second the live shows start.. BOOM everyone looks like carbon copied bull shit gold.. It's really amazing.. Their teeth are white (this bogles my mind) their clothing is impeccably generic yet undoubtably cool for California and the Mid-West (where if ya wanna be cool ya gotta be fake), and every aspect about them has changed (for the faker). It's just freaking bizarre and it gets worse every single season...

INDIVIDUALITY MUST BE FORFEITED...
Anyone who looks different or acts different then the norm is immediately shot down and conformed into the AMERICAN IDOL MOLD.. This goes with the carbon copy BS....

NOONE CAN SING ROCK...
I Have nothing else to write about this... A good rocker has never made it far on the show, and actually I'm happy about that at the same time as being pissed off because real rockstars make it on their own not with American Idol....


MORE TO COME SOON....

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like noone can ever just sit in at night and relax. The second class ends on friday 99.99% of these people think they are celebrities and club hop in order to make themselves feel important and "trendy." To me this stuff is just strange and I really do not understand it. Can't we all just take a night make some tea watch a movie and relax? Or is that just too gay to ask?

Words can not encompass how funny I find this...

Only in America... Only in America can absolute crap like this be put on the television.

Then we wonder why the world is in the state it is now. How can we as Americans, more so and Human Beings allow this kind of garbage to be on network television?

So please stop trying to give me opinions on the way I write it's really just plain obnoxious. It's my blog (aka anything that pops into my head). So as a favor to me stop telling me how and what to write. If you're such excellent writers and "bloggers" make your own, because as I have already said I don't care what you have to say... ON THE OTHER HAND... Positive feedback is always welcome and greatly appreciated...
Johnny

COMING SOON...

Let's play some word association... (Yay word association)
I'm going to name some things are you are going to answer with what you think I'm talking about... Ready cuz I know I am...

Hair Spray...
Fake Tan...
Ed Hardy...
Coach...
Huge jewelry...
Painted on eyebrows...
Fake Coach...
White Cars...
Cascada...
Starbucks...
Not pronouncing the letter R...
Chewing gum that cracks like a whip when chewed...

Ok boys and girls what do you think it is???
A transvestite in chelsea?? WRONG
A guido? ? WRONG, but very close actually
A transvestite in chelsea on a wednesday night at 3 am?? WRONG but much much closer...

Ok I get it you guys give up... So i'll give it to ya... (drum roll)

A "TYPICAL" Staten Island Girl....

(that was so stupid sorry for that I really feel bad about it, but what ever)


Staten Island is often known as the the lost borough, the dark borough, or the dump. Well if you ever go there you can easily see why it's called that. In spite of it's rolling hills...( of garbage) and vast variety of tanning salons Staten Island and Staten Islanders (NOT ALL OF YOU, JUST THE STEREOTYPE) are really just not like anyone else in the City of New York... or in the world, or Universe for that matter.

But I'm not here to talk about Staten Islanders.. I'm here to talk about Staten Island girls, and that is exactly what I will do.

Fake tan obsession? I don't get it.. Why do you want to take your skin and make it orange, it makes literally less then no sense to me (maybe because I'm naturally tan but that's irrelevant). Tanning, stretches and destroys the skin to such ungodly degrees that it is not even worth mentioning, not to mention it just looks silly when when it's Christmas Day and you are black as the ace as spades. But regardless the girls are absolutely in love with their fake tans.. I guess it goes good with their fake personalities (ouuuuuuuu yea I went there....) next topic

Fake stereotypical personalities, based on fake stereotypical fantasies? I wish to God Himself that I could go back in time, find whoever wrote the film "Mean Girls," and light his script on fire, after throwing him out of the window of his apartment. My ex girlfriend and I watched this film not to long ago, I sat there in astonishment while her and her Biff (that's idiot speak for friend that you use when you're bored) recited every single line in the film WORD FOR FREAKING WORD. This movie is the apparent goal of most every girl on the Island. They are like the "MEAN GIRLS in the film... mean, fake, rude, obnoxious (I'm really gaining points over here in this blog.. oh well I'll get readers and that's all that really matters to me anyway, but remember all my typical SI girls who are reading.. IM JUST DOING THIS FOR LAUGHS I LOVE ALL OF YOU,[ now please don't have towwwnnyyy and jowwwyyyy beat me up on the way to my caaaaeeerrrr tumawwow])....
where was I... oh yea umm I said fake, rude, obnoxious... hrmm did i mention fake, rude, and obnoxious? But back on topic these girls are hilarious...

Superficial is and understatement... "omg did you see his ____ (inset anything here [ie. clothes, hair, body, car, skin... you name it, and it has no real world value... it will fit])" The typical Staten Island girl is a superficial being who only cares about monetary items and STATUS over all else. If they were told that jumping off a bridge would gain them popularity and a false sense of prestige they would do in in the bat of an eye. It's really sad, but it's true and it's not gunna change..

Typical Staten Island girls are DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER I DID NOT SAY THIS "The typical Staten Island girls are raised by a generation of woman who lived their lives by the same ideals and morals so in turn they raise theyre offspring to live vicariously through them to achieve what they could not yet these young girls face the same fate that theyre elders came into contact with just to continue this brutal and meaningless cycle of low self esteem and self mutilation (starving themselves, tanning, whoring themselves out, dolling themselves up.. all forms of self mutilation).." -Will J aka. Sam Winchester

that's enough for now expect more in a little while...
johnny

The Snuggie is by far the most hilarious product ever made by mankind...
I can not even write about it without laughing.
So please just enjoy this spoof commercial..
thanks a lot
johnny

Well I guess people finally caught on (damnit). Nothing went on all week on campus week (boo). Girls wore make up, their were no pledge books/bags/magazine etc etc.. in sight and everything was kinda bleak and dull... I kinda feel like there was a no socializing rule that I didn't know about, because other then like one or two sororities the whole place looked dead (Jesus maybe they really were zombies). But yea nothing was going on anywhere all week..

About what you're doing at every moment of the day... Jesus God almighty what makes you think that you are so high and mighty, so freaking interesting that I really care WHEN you are cleaning your dogs shit or when you're in the shower.. 

College relationships are in my opinion a farce (if you're too stupid to know what a farce is, well it means a joke). 

The internet is a breeding ground for the scariest, weirdest, most creepy, vile hearted sick individuals. I mean look at it this way... 

This game is a creation of Satan himself. Raising an entire generation of posers. Not even like posers that actually try to play instruments and are bad, but rather posers that think because they can beat "Free Bird" on insane difficulty, makes them real musicians. 

I AM NOT CLAIMING ANYTHING ON THIS BLOG TO BE TRUE OR FACTUAL. IT'S PURPOSE IS TO ENTERTAIN YOU, RATHER THEN TO OFFEND YOU. KEEP THAT IN MIND WHILE YOU ARE YELLING AT ME. 

1. I'm actually informed and I write full length articles.

I DID NOT WRITE THIS.. THIS IS A CNN POST THAT I DECIDED TO PUT ON MY BLOG BECAUSE I FOUND IT EXTREMELY INTERESTING...(Men see bikini-clad women as objects, psychologists say - CNN.com)

The research was presented this week by Susan Fiske, professor of psychology at Princeton University, at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science.

"This is just the first study which was focused on the idea that men of a certain age view sex as a highly desirable goal, and if you present them with a provocative woman, then that will tend to prime goal-related responses," she told CNN.

Although consistent with conventional wisdom, the way that men may depersonalize sexual images of women is not entirely something they control. In fact, it's a byproduct of human evolution, experts say. The first male humans had an incentive to seek fertile women as the means of spreading their genes.

"They're not fully conscious responses, and so people don't know the extent to which they're being influenced," Fiske said. "It's important to recognize the effects."

The participants, 21 heterosexual male undergraduates at Princeton, took questionnaires to determine whether they harbor "benevolent" sexism, which includes the belief that a woman's place is in the home, or hostile sexism, a more adversarial viewpoint which includes the belief that women attempt to dominate men.

In the men who scored highest on hostile sexism, the part of the brain associated with analyzing another person's thoughts, feelings and intentions was inactive while viewing scantily clad women, Fiske said. Visit CNNHealth.com, your connection for better living

Men also remember these women's bodies better than those of fully-clothed women, Fiske said. Each image was shown for only a fraction of a second.

This study looked specifically at men, and did not test women's responses to similar images.

A supplementary study on both male and female undergraduates found that men tend to associate bikini-clad women with first-person action verbs such as I "push," "handle" and "grab" instead of the third-person forms such as she "pushes," "handles" and "grabs." They associated fully clothed women, on the other hand, with the third-person forms, indicating these women were perceived as in control of their own actions. The females who took the test did not show this effect, Fiske said.

The findings are consistent with previous work in the field, and resonate, for example, with the abundance of female strip clubs in comparison to male strip clubs, said Dr. Charles Raison, psychiatrist and director of the Mind/Body Institute at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia. Raison was not involved in the study.

THERE WAS A LOT MORE BUT I FEEL THIS WILL SUFFICE...

Johnny

oh and btw I do not see bikini women as pieces of meat... thanks. 

Ya know many people come up to me (because I'm famous and all) and beg me to explain to them what makes a perfect girl. (Actually noone has ever asked  me this, but whose keeping tabs anyway, right?) Me, being the connoisseur of women that I am am happy to give you my opinion on the topic. Actually lets be honest for a quick second I am by no means a connoisseur of women. No girlfriend, no mistresses, maybe I should be the one asking for advice, but then I guess I wouldn't be the celebrity right ha ha ha (joking laugh)... but now on to this useless crap.. (seriously I can't believe anyone is reading this).

Has the guido sub-culture finally died out?

So it's 8:30 on Tuesday, damnit I'm late. I did not even have time to get my Tazo™ and note pad. So I run (gracefully sachet) into the cafeteria and what is this I see? Makeup, smiling faces? Did the Americans come and liberate the Caf? No even worse... One of the sororities pledging ended. BOOO!!! Who am I going to torture what am I going to write about, damn this is really terrible... BUT ALAS I looked around and what did I see, but one of the other sororities. Faces of contempt deep in their pledge books writing some bull about God knows what. I could almost see a tear from their eyes.

Once again it's 8 a.m. I find myself sitting at the same table surrounded by the same people except now they look like a bunch of well.. umm hrmm let's see how can I put this?

Btw to all my souless readers I tried some new lines on the one's who could not speak to me today. Many of which I refuse to type, but the one that really made my day was when I went up to this girl who SWORE ON HER MOTHERS SOUL that the Sororities would never make her do any of the things she was then doing because they "ARE MY FRIENDS". I went up to her in front of all of her compadres and said..." Heyyyyy aren't you the one who said that these girls were gunna go lite on you because they are wrapped around your finger (then walked away)." From the sounds of flesh on flesh, then later jaw on curb I could tell that my work there was done.

The Nazi's started yelling at me for being soulless (psh me soulless I didn't just curb stomp your pledgie that was you) and an arrogant piece of [insert obscenity here]. I love it.

WRAP UP DAY 2:
Well as it seems to be a great majority of the juicy stuff is going to be done off campus (boo), but I have decided to not rest until I get some more epic tales. Truth be told, I really am not as soulless as a person that I seem. I do have feelings and emotions. It's just that all of these people have bee ntelling me how easy it is going to be for the past SIX MONTHS and now that it's the time to step up to the plate they are all crying to me.. "Oh my God Johnny you were right blah blah blah blah blahhhhh." Introspectively though I would love to do all of the things they are doing. How on earth they aren't just laughing in the sororities faces is just beyond me. I mean I am not a trouble maker by no means (well other then this blog) but if someone six months older then me is yelling at just because they are wearing a 25$ sweatshirt with letters on it, oh God how fast the retribution would be. ( I mean unless the Fraternity/Sorority was National and you are actually getting something out of joining it, then AND ONLY then would I MAYBE [and when I say maybe I mean like Hell has to be frozen solid and John Grisham has to write a good book] maybe consider the whole thing, but other then that I think these people are out of their minds.
Stay tuned for part three.

Well guys it's Monday now, 8 a.m. to be exact. I'm sitting in the cafeteria. I am the only guy surrounded by a sea of Nazi SS-like Sorority girls and their pledges. The pledges are sitting at tables in dead silence, being educated about their sorority and the glorious things it they have done. Like that one time in the Summer of 68' when the bake sale made 120$ and they all were overwhelmed with happiness and bought matching sweaters. Back to reality for a moment only one though.

* On a side note I have been to Auschwitz, Dacow and a plethora of other god-less places in this world but none of them, NO NONE OF THEM compared to the horrors that I witnessed today. *

I digress, the pledges all sat there in dead silence no make up, hair undone, dressed like women of the street (not even like regular women of the street, just plain old mole people) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_People. I think my comrade who will go nameless said it best when he entered the cafeteria and exclaimed "This is just god-awful and atrocious ( then proceeded to walk out)." I could not have said it better myself.

Did I mention the kicker? THEY CAN NOT TALK TO ME. Over joyed when I was assured of this. I took it to my advantage. Hey ladies.. No response.. Hey mamasitas.. No response..
Alright now I'm perturbed these women are not breaking for anything.. So I stopped..... (for now, because ya know what guys it's only day one I have seriously fourteen more days[at least] to go at this.) Plus the SS troopers were yelling at me, and my days of fighting the Nazi's off are far behind me.

WRAP UP DAY 1:
Day one really taught me a lot about the psyche of a woman, and how fragile it really is. No make up, hair undone and being dressed like a mole person really can make a girl cry as I saw today time and time again. Personally, I do not feel that any of these things were absurd, not even in the least. Regardless, women do truly find the whole thing daunting, not even because of the fact of the things they "ARE ASKED" to do but rather because as, one girl screamed today...
"I THOUGHT THEY WERE ALL MY FRIENDS." They were, and they are, butttttt if you want to be part of the Secretive Society of the Prancing Mermaids you're going to have to go through some serious hell. On that note I'll be back tomorrow to report on more of my findings.





(ON ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: NO FRATERNITIES WERE SEEN TODAY ON CAMPUS, GOD KNOWS WHAT PSEUDO-MASHOCHISTIC THINGS THEY WERE DOING IN THE DENSIONS OF THE SCHOOL, but seriously one can only imagine lol)

Which organization will be the most enjoyable to follow? Only time will tell... It's noon on the Sunday before pledging begins, I will be giving you an in depth look into the pledging processes of these organizations. Although not one of them will be mentioned by name, and no information leading to any arrests or suspensions will be disclosed.
The idea of these posts is not because we want anyone in trouble or anything of the like. But rather because we find the whole concept of "going greek" a tad comical, and the fact that over the next to weeks people will be making complete fools of one another in public area's is very enticing as well. Basically we are just going to report on our hilarious findings... I hope you all enjoy.
Johnny

Nickelback is the worst band (if you even want to consider them that) of all time. If I did not have to expound on this I wouldn't I would literally just leave it at that, but I can not so I will not.