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THE PERFECT WOMAN...

I want to preface the entry with looks are not everything... In fact some of the most gorgeous women are completely arrogant, unintelligent, and down right mean.. With that said the perfect woman has to be freaking SLAMMINGGG....(just kidding, but not really). Now mind you I'm not going to define freaking SLAMMINGGG because remember this is a family friendly blog (cough, families who read about sororities, Nickelback sucking, Nazi Demon Strippers and the like) So yea like I said although looks do play a major role in the "creation" of the perfect woman there are other important factors too. Such as: personality, taste in films, taste in music etc etc etc. (Insert witty remark here) 

For example, today while doing some "connoisseuring" (stalking) I found a woman whose favorite movie was (drum roll) THE BOONDOCK SAINTS... (yea you know who you are..[cough call me]) Um well anyways I was very impressed that she had ever heard of the film, but even more impressed that she was reciting lines and blah blah blah I just lost my train of thought.. (this is really boring even to write haha). So yea anyway the perfect woman has to have a similar taste in films as me for starters.

NEXT... she can not listen to rap or even say it's music. My perfect girl is a rocker or a jazz chick (even though I think most of them are like either sixty years old or...well umm anyways). To me what she listens too is a clear representation of where the girls head is at. (ie. if she's listening to Hannah Montana you're probably going to go to jail for statutory rape [It's a really tough charge to beat], or if she's listening to Bone Thugs and Harmony your probably going to press charges for being raped). With all that said the perfect girl needs to have my taste is music cuz let's face it guys... Who wouldn't want to be with a girl who listens to David Bowie..seriously.. Moving forward..

Sense of humor... This is the key part to finding the perfect woman. If she can not take a joke or tell one (or if she tells stories with no punch line even though that's a whole nother story but yea..) she is out. I don't care if she is stunning, her favorite movie is 300 and she listens to Gerschwin while listening to my blog sipping Tazo™ and singing Irish folk songs.. if she can not be funny (moreso find me funny) she's dead to me (a little godfather for ya there). Basically she needs to have my sense of humor..Next...........

Personality... Let's be honest if she's good looking enough personality means nothing...

naa just kidding (I'm really not, but most of my readers of female so I gotta appeal the masses) personality is key (I think Hitler said that, but what-ev's). I've gone out in the past with beautiful women, whose only downfall was their personality, so me Johnny K local celebrity (in my own sick sick mind) can tell you first hand that the personality thing is not a joke it really is true and makes a whole lotta sense if you just pause the porno and think about it for a second. Simply put she will need to have my personality...

Now I'm not an opinionated person or anything, but I must say some of the most perfect girls I have ever met are the ones who have no idea how perfect they really are. Ignorance is really bliss. 

So yea this is the recipe to create the perfect woman (I keep saying create, must be my German side acting up again.. oh well) 

PERSONALITY+

LOOKS+

SENSE OF HUMOR+

SIMILARITY TO ME+

TASTE IN MUSIC+

=

THE PERFECT WOMAN.....

So to wrap this God awful blog up.. if you know anyone who meets these standards or if you are one please I'd like to meet you (even though I don't think you exist, so in that case if you are an imaginary woman please call my imaginary cell phone and maybe we can go on an imaginary date or something)...

I hope you enjoyed it, as much as I hated writing it...

Johnny