So I'm sitting down on a beautiful spring day over a cup of my favorite Berry Lime Tazo™ and wondering to myself what the hell happened to all of the Guidos. On a day like this I would usually see big juicebags with Channel™ sunglasses ten times too big for their heads with matching earrings walk around with protein shakes, but where are they... Seriously where are they? ( I need something to laugh at)
Has the days of going to a club, bar, library and seeing orange skinned, spiky haired, glow stick totting, ripped jeans blazing, gold chain blinging, ITALIA track jacket wearing guidos finally over?
Nah probably not, but what I do find interesting then is where did MOST (not all just MOST) of them disappear too? Did Guido-Jesus come and rapture them away to the PACHA in the sky, or have some of them seen the error of their ways and become regular human beings?
Personally I have no clue, but what I do know is that most people who were at time guidos completely deny the fact that they ever were. On top of that when you call a guido...a guido.. they will probably go into a fit of roid rage and stab you with their twelve inch spikes yelling something along the lines of "waiii bra, arr youus like serious rite nowa." This actually happened to me. True story I called a friend of mine a guido once, and he was so upset we almost ended up in a fight. But I did not wanna make him cry because his mascara might have dripped and we would not want that, now would we. There's really nothing worse then an oompa loompa with running mascara and a crown of daggers on their head ( sounds like a bad trip... anywaysssss).
"Hey bras arr yous guidoss but like ehh dun wanna be ike dat ne mowe? den uhh wea ed hardy like tha stufff is like crazy, and uhh like i sawwa like the gottis in it so like yo it must be some legit stuff bra"
I FIGURED IT OUT...
All of the guys walking around in Ed Hardy tee shirts masking their fake tans and huge earrings. This is what happened to the guidos.They have not gone extinct, rather they believe that by getting crew cuts (mad buzzed heads yo) and wearing Ed Hardy, Affliction, Smet etc etc. they are no longer guidos. Therefore the subspecies of guidos have been born. Modern day culture has not yet given them a title, but I am sure they will have by next week.
This was really random and pointless but I felt like writing about it so yea
4 comments:
Interestingly good point, I'll have to keep my eye open for the guidos in disguise haha.
good stuff man, and If you do get me some snap shots... thanks trotta
indeed they havent vanished theyve latched on to something else like the plague they are and will devoid all nutrients from it until they will have to move on again. At times i believe Hitler wasnt so crazy...just fed up.
valid points Mr.Bob
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